NEW YORK, NY – There are many, many interactions in the workplace that can lead to conflict or hostility—such as giving a colleague feedback on a work project or discussing new roles or responsibilities. Amidst the backdrop of a fraught political environment, managers are finding it difficult to maintain harmony in the workplace and demonstrate an open-minded approach with colleagues. So, what strategies can managers, colleagues, or peers use to seem more receptive? New research from Columbia Business School suggests a simple yet effective fix: carefully choosing pronouns. Replacing “you” with “we” can make a significant difference. For example, instead of saying, “You’re getting this wrong,” shifting to “We’re getting this wrong” makes the message feel more inclusive and less confrontational.
The study, You Versus We: How Pronoun Use Shapes Perceptions of Receptiveness, co-authored by Columbia Business School Professor Mohamed Hussein and Stanford University Graduate School of Business Professor Zakary Tormala, finds that in contentious interactions, using “you” pronouns can come off as accusatory or aggressive while using “we” evokes more inclusivity and open-mindedness. They show that the benefits of using “we” in these conflict-laden circumstances extend even further. It’s an approach that not only makes a contentious message more persuasive but also fosters more productive conversations. It makes people more willing to interact in the future and also makes people more likely to share that message with others. In the workplace, using “we” can improve collaboration and communication between colleagues.
“The words we choose matter, especially in negative or politically charged conversations,” said Mohamed Hussein, Assistant Professor of Business at Columbia Business School. “Appearing open-minded and willing to listen can make all the difference. Simply changing ‘you’ to ‘we’ softens the tone, reduces aggressiveness, and creates a sense of shared experience—making others more open to engaging.”
For this research, Professor Hussein and his co-author conducted five studies using 2,751 participants recruited from Prolific Academic, a research crowdsourcing platform. Across the studies and different contexts including political speeches, the workplace, and online forums, they found that messages using “you” pronouns were perceived as less receptive than those using “we.” In the first study, they found people were less persuaded by a nearly identical political speech on lowering the drinking age that used “you” instead of “we” pronouns. A second study found when receiving negative feedback from a co-worker, participants felt “you” messages were more aggressive and less receptive, and made them less willing to interact with the source or share the message with others. In a third study, participants moderated comments on immigration and abortion in an online group. Participants were more likely to censor messages that used “you” than “we.” A similar fourth study found that online messages using both “you” and “we” pronouns seemed equally receptive when used in a more positive, supportive message. The final study tested pronoun use and censorship in the real world – using 272,172 comments posted to political subreddits on Reddit.com in 2021. They found evidence that messages with “you” pronouns were more likely to be censored than ones with “we” pronouns.
Additional Findings Include:
- Messages that seem more receptive are less likely to be censored – The researchers found that perceived receptiveness shapes the likelihood of a message being censored in online groups or forums like Reddit.
- “You” pronouns are not inherently aggressive or unreceptive – When a message already is positive or supportive, pronouns matter less. They find “you” pronouns come off equally as receptive as “we” pronouns in these situations.
“The words managers use when communicating with employees—and vice versa—can shape workplace dynamics,” added Professor Mohamed Hussein. “For firms, this small change can lead to stronger teamwork, higher morale, and more effective problem-solving—benefits every manager should embrace."
To learn more about the cutting-edge research being conducted, please visit the Columbia Business School.
###
